We Need to Renew Our Commitment to Finding Unity With Our Neighbors
A review of ‘Calling In’ by Loretta Ross
Hello Everyone! I’m Walter Rhein of I'd Rather Be Writing and I thought I’d share a suggestion for the anti-fascist book club. Loretta Ross is an amazing speaker, writer, and anti-white supremacy activist. In this book, she talks about the years she’s spent sitting across the table from Klansmen, rapists, and other individuals who have been corrupted by an ideology of cruelty. She’s taken the time to learn how they think, and her observations on how to confront the further spread of hatred are exactly what we need today. This book is not an example of the passive pressure you hear from corporate democrats who lecture us we have to “meet them in the middle.” Instead, this is a real deal narrative from a person who has been in the trenches and endured the worst aspects of humanity. Somehow she emerged as an even better person, and I have all the admiration in the world for Loretta Ross.
You’ll find this is a non-traditional book review. I’ve written it in a conversational style so it feels more like an article than a book promotion. Over the years, I’ve found that’s the best way to generate interest in a book. But please, don’t take my word for it. Get this book. Get the audio book and listen to it. There are strategies in there we NEED in this moment, and these are words that will provide comfort—WR.
The Review
I’ve come to think of my life as a quest. I don’t have all the answers. But sometimes, I get a sense of the direction I need to take in order to find them. Along the way, I pick up little nuggets of information that help provide clarity to the overall message the universe brought me into existence to understand.
It can be a struggle to learn how to adopt a mindset that will help unify a community in pursuit of a common goal. Often, we allow minor disagreements to blow up out of proportion, and that undermines our ability to work together.
Calling In by Loretta Ross also wrestles with these dilemmas. In reading her book, I got the sense that Ross is a fellow traveler on a parallel quest. Throughout the decades, through hardship and in celebration, she’s picked up her own precious fragments of information. She shares them in this kind and engaging book, and I feel her words have empowered me to become much more effective in my own journey.
It’s a book that brings me comfort. It’s a book that leaves me inspired. For those gifts, I feel both grateful and renewed.
My conversation with Loretta Ross
I came across Loretta Ross at a time of personal struggle. I’d recently endured several traumas that had left me feeling bitter over the depths of cruelty to which people can descend. Slowly, I’d been making my way through stages of depression that involved anger and denial. Ms. Ross’s appearance was like a guiding light.
One morning, her name appeared in my inbox. I clicked on the message to find that she wanted to congratulate me on one of my articles. She requested my phone number so that we could schedule a conversation.
Giving out my phone number is not something I normally do, but I suspect the universe had arranged this encounter for a reason. Above all, I am a student of words. Some words contain power that can’t be explained even by somebody like me.
Ross’s email radiated kindness. In a world of AI writing, her words were as organic as if they’d been formed into the bark of a tree. Captivated by the power of that sentiment, I gave her my number.
Humanity and grace
Ross called me a few days later and said exactly what I needed to hear. She told me I was doing good work. She said she believed in reaching out to encourage the positive behavior we want to see, and I felt extremely honored by this.
I’ve thought about that conversation often in the intervening years. We should never forget the enduring impact we can make by simply taking the time to stop and say, “Good work.”
Quoted in a major release
I discovered that Ross’s book had been released through my email. I set a Google Alert to send a message whenever my name appears in the media. This is a useful journalism trick that will keep you informed about important topics that tend to fly under the radar.
The notification sent me to an article in Ms. Magazine that revealed I’d been quoted in Calling In by Loretta Ross. The book was released by Simon and Schuster in February of 2025.
I immediately grabbed an audio copy, and listened to it during some long and reflective workouts on my cross-country skis. Ross reads the audio version herself. The book brought me a lot of relief during a time of anxiety.
In many ways, Calling In is the exact book the world needs right now.
How do we transform conflict into connections?
Calling In is a discussion on the most effective tactics for reaching out and understanding the people who don’t share our viewpoints. It walks you through clear and tested examples, and it provides a framework for creating unity and overcoming division.
Loretta Ross’s story is remarkable, and she shares it with heartbreaking honesty. She details how she survived various assaults that threatened to leave her life in shambles. But she didn’t allow these events to define her, and has managed to harvest a level of wisdom few people attain.
Ross details how she received a letter from a man who had formed an anti-rape group in prison. He reached out to her for help, and although her first impulse was to throw the letter into the trash, she eventually agreed to go.
The meetings with that man and others went on for years, and Ross began to develop her sense of how to cultivate an internal sense of decency in others.
Outreach is more productive than anger
When we’re hit by emotional triggers, it’s easy to lash out in anger. Ross details one instance where a colleague made a dismissive comment about the concept of Reproductive Justice.
The United States medical industry has long sterilized Black women at a disproportionate rate. Ross’s activism includes raising awareness about the true extent of this issue.
Rather than respond with anger to the careless comment of her colleague, Ross managed to regain control of her emotions and explain the facts about the issue. In doing this, she was able to transform her colleague into an ally.
The time for positive activism is now
Ross emphasizes that we shouldn’t delay our activism until the moment we find others who are in complete agreement. If we do that, we’ll never get started.
Instead, we have to form alliances with people who don’t completely share our beliefs. We have to see that they are our allies, and that as we move forward together, we’ll understand and accept each other more effectively.
Too often we fall into the habit of categorizing everyone we meet as either friend or foe. The reality of this diverse and beautiful universe is that things are much more complex.
Every individual we meet has both the capacity for good and the capacity to inflict harm. We are surrounded by individuals who are in the throes of conflict and subject to the destructive power of malicious influence.
We have to remember that they, too, are seeking a way out.
Guidance to help us find a way forward
Calling In details various effective strategies for forging positive connections. She uses clear, relatable, and captivating examples. Ross has endured things in her life that would have broken most people. Yet, she has emerged from these experiences as a compassionate and understanding human being. This book provides the exact guidance that I didn’t even realize I needed.
We have to become sources of inspiration that will help encourage the people around us to cultivate all the good they have to offer. Of all the books I’ve read recently, I feel Calling In offers the clearest explanation of a model for success. It features ideas I’ve already adopted, and many others that were new to me. It provided further understanding even about some subjects I thought I knew very well.
Overall, I’m most impressed by the compassion and kindness that radiates from the pages. There is always a shortage of these emotions in the world, so it’s a delight to come upon a source. Calling In gives me hope that there is a way that we can get through to our neighbors, and our friends, and the people who disagree with us. We can overcome our differences and find a way to work together in pursuit of a society that offers compassion, prosperity, health and love for ourselves and our children.
After all, isn’t that what everyone wants?
Calling In should be available at your local bookstore or library.
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Pretty cool! Thanks for the share! I'm looking forward to reading the impressions of anyone who reads this book!